21. King Of The Hill Is Amazing
King Of The Hill is, was, and always will be one of the greatest shows on TV. It’s about the fictional city of Arlen, Texas. Though Arlen doesn’t even exist, it’s better than any city in your state.
20. We Know What Tacos Are
I don’t know who has been lying to you. Actually, I do. Taco Bell. Taco Bell has been lying to you. We are sick of all yall northerners, and especially you New Jersey, acting like you know what Mexican food is. You don’t. So stop. It’s why your state sucks.
19. Texas Is So Big, It Could Be 5 Different States
Get over yourself Alaska. Fine, you’re bigger than Texas, but about 4 people and 6 polar bears live there. We’re huge and a ton of people live here. So many people in fact, that the diversity could be split up in to 5 different equally awesome states. The other 48 states, yall suck because you’re small.
18. There Are Texas Shaped Waffle Makers
Waffles are great, but waffles are better when they’re shaped like Texas. I’ve been told there are Florida shaped waffles. Apparently they taste like suntan lotion and retired people. That’s why Florida sucks.
Texas is the state that brought you Whataburger. Granted, Whataburger is in a few other states, but it started in the Lone Star State. You’re welcome America.
16. River Floatin’
Up in New York, what do yall do when it gets hot out? Open a fire hydrant and run around in the street? Cool story bro. We float the river and get tanked. We also get sunburned, but that’s another story. Either way, I’ll take cooling down in a toob in Texas over a hydrant in Brooklyn any day.
Here in Texas, we’re civilized. We’ve got clean bathrooms. I wouldn’t touch a toilet in your state with a 10 foot pole. Yall should be ashamed of yourselves. Buc-ee’s forever y’all.
14. Deep In The Heart Of Texas
EVERYONE in Texas knows this song. How many songs about your state do you know by heart?
13. Our State Was A State, Then Fought To Be A Country, Then Won
Our state was just some land. Then it was part of Mexico. Then it was like “awe, hell naw” and decided to be a country. It fought a whole slew of better equipped soldiers and won. Next thing you know, bam! The Republic of Texas. So yeah, Texas was a country. What was Florida before it was Florida? Oh that’s right. Just a bunch of swamps and mosquitos.
12. Willie Nelson
Texan, Willie Nelson has always played by his own rules. He told me to tell you he thinks your state sucks. Texas Forever.