16 Ways to Piss Off Any Texan

5. Insert Your “Everything is Bigger in Texas” Joke Here

Everything’s bigger in Texas isn’t something to joke about. It’s a truth the size of Texas, and we don’t’ like people poking fun at our mantras.


4. Telling Us You Wish We Would Secede Already

Look, if it were as easy as just seceding, we would have done it already. We love the idea of going back to being our own country. The problem is, a heck of a lot of people in the rest of the country depend on us and our awesomeness. We have a giant economy, make the best BBQ, and produced George Strait, Lightnin’ Hopkins, Buddy Holly, Miranda Lambert, and Matthew McConaughey. We’ve stuck around because we’re not trying to create a worldwide collapse.


3. Argue that Alaska is bigger than Texas

Texas Globe

So what? Alaska may be slightly bigger than Texas in square miles, but about two people, Sara Palin, and a polar bear live there, so nobody in the rest of the world really cares.

Texas Humor Shirt

2. Telling Us How You Do Things Where You Come From

Look buddy. If we wanted to live in Canadaland or Californiaville we would. Fact is, we have zero interest in doing so. We like things exactly the way they are here in Texas. Do us all a favor and keep your opinions to yourself and don’t California my Texas.


1. Mess With Texas


Don’t Mess With Texas is pretty much a cardinal rule in our great state. We can be the friendliest folks you’ve ever met, or the meanest sons-of-guns out there. It really all depends on you.

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